Brooke (pinkieloo) wrote,
Brooke
pinkieloo

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ex girlfriends and heartache.

'oh you added your ex girlfriend. thats so cute' yeah and im sure he didnt even correct her and say 'girlfriend, were back together' and that hurts.... it really hurts. the whole shannon situation still bothers me. its like he went off, dated this chick... things didnt work out so he just comes back to me... and yes i want to be with him and yes i do love him. but at the same time it still really hurts. now i feel like i can be replaced at any given time if someone better comes along. hes still talking to her... well if shes so stupid and crazy then why does he feel the need to keep in touch? it cant be that hard. he didnt talk to me for days... he expects me to not talk to certain people or not see them but he can do the opposite. thats not cool. if i cant talk to certain people then neither can he.. well at least thats what i want to say. but i know that i also cant control him. if he wants to talk to her he will. and i just wont find out about it. i guess eventually things will be okay. hell gradually stop talking to her like he did with barbara and like hes doing with nikki. so i guess everything is good... it just sucks that shes in houston. because now everytime he goes im going to be paranoid that hes with her. and i dont want to feel like that. but i cant help it. he says that shes nothing but at the same time he seems to think that he has feelings for her.... i mean they did date, even if it was only for a week or two. the worst part about that is, he acknowledges the fact that they were 'dating' it makes me feel like shit because it was just sooo easy for him to leave me and go straight to her. but he cares about me so much and realizes that he made a mistake.... blah blah blah. yeah he says all that after things we she and him dont work out. it makes me question his sincerity. and i cant help it. i want to trust him and believe everything he says but its so hard when hes proved to me that sometimes i cant. its hard to just believe him when hes always talking about other girls and stuff. i should just know that im the only one he loves. i mean i am the one that he runs to at the end of the day. but i need to stop focusing on all the negative.... we are together and thats made me so happy for the past few days. things are finally going back to normal... i hope.
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